Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
