Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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