Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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