Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
