I need help removing her.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
