bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
