Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
