Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
