He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
