I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Nicole vs. Life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
