Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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