I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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