Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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