8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
