I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
