oh god the rape fog is back!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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