oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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