i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My life is pants optional.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
