WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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