Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
