Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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