hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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