Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
