@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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