you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
