Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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