it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
