So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
