Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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