Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
