Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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