This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
