Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
