if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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