He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
