i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
