mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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