Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
