So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
