I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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