A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
