I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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