could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
