Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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