I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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