I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Randomize
