I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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