I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize