sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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