omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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