i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I came so hard my ears popped.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
