grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
pop tarts are not kleenex
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
