Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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