No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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