Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
