she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
