His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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