So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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