you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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