Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't put those talents on a resume
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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