My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
