Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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