I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
