does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
