when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
