I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
