i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
