hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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